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July 1st, 2006, 02:41 PM
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beck12 beck12 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I think it is totally acceptable to set acceptable limits for anything. His mom may have been overbearing but that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat to compensate. If he has issues surrounding his parents relationship it really isn't your responsibility to heal those, he needs to seek out counselling or whatever is necessary to deal with those. You can be undesrtanding of his background, but you can't be held to some ideal of how you should act in your marriage to accomodate his past issues.

I think it is wayyyyy out of line & in my house it would be a "walls shaking" kind of ordeal. I think it is extremely permissive to allow him to speak abotu sex with other women. I have male friends & colleagues. I may tease a single male friend in an email (like I did a couple weeks back..when it was my anniversary & he was going to a bachelor auction to be sold off for charity...) that "at least I know one of us will get laid" - but I would never actually discuss the details of sex, my sex lfe, his sex life, etc with him. It is none of his business, none of my business & it only invites too much involvement in each other's lives. There are definately topics you can discuss that are just asking for trouble & because some people don't see where that line is supposed to be - you HAVE to be very clear with them about it. I generlaly don't wear panties...it isn't something I would EVER shaer with any man as info - and it is beyond flirty in my opinion. Flirty is telling someone they look great...going on & on about it - being provacative in discussion is beyond flirty & starting into inviting trouble.

I say you have every right to be concerned, to tell him how you feel & to draw a line of what he shou;d & shouldn't do. I am not a huge devotee' of Dr Phil but I do believe two things he says about marriage - those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing & you should never behave in person (or email, IM ,etc) any way that you wouldn't behave if your spouse were present...anything else just adds up to trouble.

Good luck hun!
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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