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November 20th, 2010, 04:54 PM
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Margaret
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Denver metro area
Posts: 2,988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calendula View Post




The expectations you are defining as dynamics, I see as a form of etiquette. I guess the main difference is you see etiquette as something stodgy and universal, I see it as something individual to different cultures and groups (even individual families). I guess that is where our arguments seemed to clash.

It could be that misunderstand the definition of the word. When I look it up this is what I find:

the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life

I guess I don't consider what is required by good breeding or what should be followed in one's social or official life to necessarily carry over to family gatherings. I agree it proper etiquette to bring something when you are a guest at a meal. In our society that is considered to be proper even if you are not asked to bring something. I don't think that carries over as a general rule when dealing with family gatherings. The OP had to do with what was proper etiquette when dealing with thanksgiving. I don't see how anything can be classified as universally appropriate when speaking of family gatherings like it can be usually when speaking about society in general.
Linzie has said she maybe etiquette wasn't really the word she meant and it sounds like I've become too hung up on that particular word.
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