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November 20th, 2010, 05:01 PM
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Margaret
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Denver metro area
Posts: 2,988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keskes View Post
I bring something because I feel like it's proper manners to do so, because that's what my mother taught me. No in the family but me brings anything, and no one ever brings anything to gatherings that I host. It doesn't really bother me, because I realize their standards are different. But I would feel completely rude and unmannerly if I didn't bring something. It's not even a family dynamic, since my own family doesn't expect it.. my mother just added it to her "basic manners" lesson, along with saying thank you and chewing with your mouth closed.

I understand what you are saying but that is where I just view family as being in a different category usually. I would never open the fridge at someone's house and help myself to a drink - I was taught that is "basic manners" but it is not bad manners for me to open my parents' fridge or my in-laws' fridge and get a drink. It may be bad manners in other people's families but my point was just that "good manners" or "etiquette" doesn't carry over from society in general to family relationships. Or maybe you are saying it does? Would you help yourself to a drink in the fridge at a dinner party before one is offered? would you at your parents' house? maybe for you, all those "basic manners" rules do carry over but I think it is fair to say that isn't the case in many families.
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