The HARDEST decision I will ever have to make!
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December 14th, 2010, 10:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Originally Posted by
Holly I'm going to be brutally honest with you. But I think you are doing a big mistake. You are giving up on Cody at a time when he needs you the most.
I saw a show on Dr. phil a couple of months ago about a parent who wanted to return her adoptive child back to the orphanage because the child was out of control. Dr. Phil told her that she couldn't give up on the child.
You have to put yourself in Cody's shoes. He grew up in a house where (using your words) was a horrible, abusive, loveless, dead end marriage. Kids are smart and absorbe everything. They know what goes around in the house. And sometimes our actions reflex on our children. And in the mix of this you separate from his father and get pregnant by another man. All this probably made Cody confuse and upset but he probably didn't show it. He probably never grieved the situation and he may be grieving by acting up. He needs help. I understand you are doing everything you can....but don't give up... keep trying. Do it for Cody. There is great potential for Cody, he has showed you by doing great in school. He just needs help. I'm sure there is noone else who will give him the love, attention and protection he needs but his mother.
It's not easy being a parent...there are good days and bad days.
I have to agree with you. I may be a semi lurker here and not post too much on this area of the board, but if the kiddos problems seem to stem from the visitation it will only get worse when he has custody and that kiddo needs you. I can tell it's hell, it sounds like hell, and I know it'd be easy to think it would be a better situation... but I think it might make it worse
My boyfriends son acted out in some pretty bad ways 2 years ago. Through counseling we learned that kids tend to kind of snap when they can't vocalize what they feel inside. So the peeing in bed, destroying belongings... those are all signs that something is going on in his head so he takes it out in the only way he can understand. I'd really be pushing for the answer to the root of the problem, because giving up custody when those problems stemmed from visitation just seems like hell is going to explode inside that little boy and he won't have any idea how to vocalize it, and it might be too late for you to step in if your rights are terminated, ya know?
I hope this doesn't seem like an attack or anything, it really is just me going through some similar things with my SO's son and realizing that sometimes the best thing is to keep moving forward even though it kills us inside. It sounds like a rough situation, but I think giving up custody is not the right thing to do, it might make the entire situation worse
Just my thoughts though, and it's not an attack, so I hope it doesn't seem like that.
Keep your head up miss, hopefully your little one gets his head straight soon and is happy again like the kid he used to be.
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