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January 7th, 2011, 03:44 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar
MindyRambo MindyRambo is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 801
I see "Carry and keep" and "carry and give" as the same decision vs two separate ones. So I see three initial choices, rather than the two "carry it" or "end it."


Keskes, yeah I understand what you mean. I think the reason I feel it is different is because even if you make an adoption plan when you are one month pregnant, nothing can be final... Not until so many days after you've given birth do you have to make a final decision (days vary by states I believe) An ethical adoption worker will tell you that you really have no idea what you will decide until after baby is born. Unethical adoption agencies will try to make the mother sign the second the baby is out and that is wrong imo.

I don't think it is selfish thinking you would not be strong enough to give up the baby, and I don't think it's selfish when someone who originally made an adoption plan to back out once the baby is born. It's not like they planned a deception, it's a natural reponse that once we see our babies, nothing else matters. Of course they have to be realistic and if there is no possible way they can care for the child, then it may be the only option.
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