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February 2nd, 2011, 02:11 AM
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Quantum_Leap Quantum_Leap is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
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Long story short, it looks like these are going to be our two primary options for baby #2 (due July 23rd). DH and I had a big argument today about which one to go with, and I'm looking for some outside opinions/advice.

Personally, I'm not really ideologically committed to one option over the other; I think that they're both fantastic options, and honestly as long as I can keep away from a hospital I'll be happy. Truly the ONLY reason I prefer to have a homebirth over going to a birthing center is finances. We don't have any insurance in the United States, so whatever we choose to do we're paying for it out of pocket. With the midwife practice we're using, the midwife fee is $2500 and the facility fee for using their birthing center is an extra $2500. So by birthing at home, we could save ourselves $2500. I am the primary breadwinner in our family, I hate my job, and I keep telling my husband, that month I spent working to earn that $2500 was far more painful than labor will be! Plus, my first birth was ridiculously fast and easy (3 hours from start to finish, and DS was born after only an hour at the hospital), so I'm guessing this one will go the same way. I really can't stand the thought of shelling out $2500 if we end up spending only an hour at the center total. (Although I will admit that I toured the center today, and their rooms are very beautiful).

DH is (mostly) on board with the idea of birthing outside of a hospital, although he thinks that he is being generous by 'letting' me do that. But he really, really, really, really does not like the idea of a home birth. He wants to go to the birthing center. I've tried to explain to him that in terms of access to medical expertise, tools for emergencies, etc., there is absolutely NO DIFFERENCE between a home birth and the birthing center, but he really doesn't get it. I think that he is secretly hoping that the birthing center will be the same as a hospital (or like a 'hospital light.') Honestly, birth makes him incredibly squeamish, and he tries to spend as little time thinking about it as possible. So he keeps insisting on the birthing center, and when I push him for his reasons why, all he can come up with is 'birth is messy' and 'who will clean up our house if you get blood on the floor?' Seriously, of all the things to fixate on.....we are just coming from completely different worlds I guess.

So I'm wondering if any of you have any other resources to point to or arguments to make in favor of home birth over a birthing center. I'm figuring that since they're both non-interventionist, peaceful settings, the rates of complications, hospital transfers, etc. would be about the same. What else can I say to convince DH? The money is all that matters to me, but it doesn't seem to matter to my DH at all, so I need something else!

Thank you to the SSMC makers for my beautiful siggies!

(x2)(x2)(October 2011)
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