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March 2nd, 2011, 06:45 PM
So, DH and I have met with an international agency. After a lot of praying and talking I think we are leaning towards domestic adoption. INternational is going to cost upwards of $50K, reguire us to spend about 2 months total (2 trips) out of country, and we will not get a newborn but more realistically a 3 or 4 year old. Not to mention the 1 year to complete paper work plus 18 to 2 year wait after that. I just feel that I need a newborn child. Plus we have been talking about semi-open adoption. With international adoption you have no way of contacting the Bparents. I don't feel comfortable about that. I want my child to have the opportunity to contact their Bfamily in the future if they want. At the same time I have some hesitation about having the bparents remain a part (even if through the agency) of our child's life. I know that it very selfish though.
Does anyone else have contact with the bparents? How is your relationship? Would you change anything? Do you feel like they are looking over your shoulder?