Trouble with the Ex again.. Been a while since I last posted in here (x-posted)
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March 3rd, 2011, 12:25 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
thanks ladies. So glad that I can have sound advice from others who have been in my shoes
I have cooled down, things have cooled down and there will be no communication at all with her unless it's dire, and Jay will be the one talking to her. We are no longer on each others facebook friends list and I have removed her cell number from my phone.
Some changes we will make with the kids is that there will be no more babysitting by the 13 year old because her mom has gotten upset a few times over it.
I will be having a sit down with each of the girls next weeks when they are here and finding out what it is they need, and whether they truly want to stay with us every other week. I need them to be able to trust me and there dad and that they can be honest with us.
I know I don't have to deal with her forever it's just been so difficult and I feel bad for the kids. I never truly agreed to having them for a whole week because I don't personally feel its in there best interest. But no one will listen to me and I don't want to come off as me just not wanting them here. But it's just been hard on everyone with this arrangement.
I am 25, DH is almost 40 and his step daughters are 13, 10. So there isn't a very big age gap between me and the girls. I am having a hard time relating to the older girl now that she's a full blown teenager and into boys, make-up etc.. her mom keeps telling me to stop being her "buddy" and be more of a parent to her. But how can I do that? I am doing my best with her. Things are soooo different than they were 12 years ago. If I try to be both to her I get criticized either way!! Yes I do treat them differently than my own kids because they are older, my kids are only 17 months and 3 years. They NEED me a lot more so my attention is focused on them a lot. She has a hard time understanding this. She always tells me "I parent all the kids the same way and love the other kids like they were my own" (her step kids who are 10 and 12)
But anyways I am done trying to justify myself to her. She can think what she wants about me. I personally think she's kind of jealous because she treated her kids like s**t when they were babies. She outright told me that she wanted to get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with her 2nd (her and DH only biological child together, the older one is NOT his).....she was out drinking and sleeping around while DH was working and raising the two (partly why they split up was her cheating. She's an idiot)...and I am so involved in everything with my two little ones. Everything is a celebration and me and DH love each other more than anything...
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