new here and very conflicted about being done or not (LONG post, sorry)
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March 3rd, 2011, 08:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
As for the financial stuff, only you can decide how comfortable you are there. I've always heard that if you wait until you're financially ready to have a baby you'll never have one and I believe that's true to some extent, but you do have to be responsible about it too which it sounds like you are. I also believe that there are ways you can make it work. I decided the second my first was born that I couldn't go back to work and although we had just bought a house where we needed two incomes, I decided I would find a way to make it work and I did.
As far as taking care of two kids at once, I think every mom has that fear before the second one comes. And it is a big adjustment, but it is completely doable. I'm sure it all depends on the person, but I have three that are all 18 months apart and as hard as it is some times, other times are just pure joy listening to them play together, learn together, and just be together. My two girls are best friends, they do everything together. And they absolutely love their little brother to pieces. Sure they fight at times and I want to rip my hair out, but the good times definitely outweigh the bad. In some ways I'm sad that we are done and I won't have the chance to give my little guy a brother, but he loves his sisters so much I think he'll be okay.
Only you and your DH can make this decision, but I wanted to let you know that all of your fears are completely normal for any mom going from one to two, so I wouldn't let that necessarily stop you. This probably sounds weird for the "Done Having Children" board, but I just wanted to say that your fears are completely normal and if you really want it, you will find a way to make it work.
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