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March 15th, 2011, 12:51 PM
shen7 shen7 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I know that many of us have complications that make it likely we'll be induced or need a c-section for the baby's arrival, you will probably think I'm crazy for all of this and I won't blame you at all... but for those of us who aren't in that position, is anyone else going for a natural childbirth?

I have always wanted a natural childbirth. When I first started TTC, I even researched unassisted childbirth! Of course after the experience of my ectopic (almost dying of internal bleeding, saved by emergency surgery and transfusions), I'm a little more cognizant of the care I would require in a bad-case scenario!!! Needless to say I will be in a hospital with an OB. But I still really want to avoid any interventions that aren't medically necessary. If I am lucky enough to remain low-risk, I am planning to avoid going into the hospital until I'm in serious active labor, and then to decline epidural or labor augmentation unless it's absolutely required.

I am quite set in this plan. However, I also struggle with feeling like I'm "asking too much" and I shouldn't allow myself to hope for more than survival of myself and the baby. Sort of like how, in the beginning, I was afraid to hope for a viable pregnancy and all I would allow myself to hope for was an intra-uterine pregnancy rather than a repeat ectopic. These feelings keep me sort of "honest" by reminding me that the REAL goal is a healthy baby, and a NCB would be a wonderful gift but is not the most important thing. But at the same time, I think: I don't just want a NCB for myself, I want it for my baby, I want her to be alert and ready to root for my breast when she comes out. I want the best possible conditions for immediate bonding and breastfeeding. What's wrong with wishing for the best for my baby? Anyway, you see how I go back and forth arguing with myself!!!

I also wonder if some buried trauma from the ectopic might come out and interfere with me staying relaxed and trusting my body during labor. I have tried really hard to work through my feelings and truly trust my body more, but I don't know if it's enough. I'm hoping that my Guided Imagery and Affirmations tracks, which have helped me so much during the pregnancy, will help me a lot if I need it during labor as well (there are special tracks just for labor!)

Can anyone relate to any of this? Has anyone had a NCB in the past? Was it before or after your losses? Did your losses affect your later birth plan or experience?
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