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March 19th, 2011, 08:38 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
well I just found this board and also am no longer a teen but I had my daughter at 16.
I was 14 when I met DD's DNA match by that point I was extremely "active" I had one of those "friends" that encouraged me to be as promiscuous as possible and being the 6th kid out of (then) 10 a lot of things went un-noticed. Well me and the POS dated for almost a year before he was carted off to jail for aggravated assault (like I said he is a POS) and I was young, dumb and in "love" so I waited for him, his sentence was reduced for good behavior and in 2002 the day after Thanksgiving he came home from jail, I also conceived DD that night, I was 15. Fast forward to March of 03, I hadnt had a period since Nov but I have always been extremely irregular (I'd gone 6 mnths before without my period before this and it was nothing so I assumed it was the same thing) and thought nothing of it until one day on the bus ride home I threw up, a friend of mine who was also pregnant (she was 4 mnths ahead of me) told me I needed to go home and test. I did that night and it was positive, my ex was there (it was our "anniversary") and he was supportive-ish he kept saying it was a good thing and we'd get through it etc etc etc, I was just scared. I called my mom at work (she was a security guard at a casino so she couldnt get too upset when she was on the floor lol) and told her I was pregnant. Well I didnt include her hormones in my calculations, she was also pregnant and 4 months ahead of me as well, so she kinda flipped. I went to Carenet (think a Catholic Planned Parenthood, minus the birth control and abortions) a couple days later and got another positive test. Then a couple weeks later I had my first ultrasound, I was 18wks along. My ex wasnt around for any of this. To be honest the only appointment he was there for was the ultrasound at the hospital when I was 24 weeks.
I was in my Jr year of high school and while the administration and staff was supportive a lot of my class mates were not. I really learned who my friends were through this. A lot of my class mates kept telling me I screwed up my life and I was never going to finish high school. A few of my friends weren't allowed to speak to me or even sit at the same table as me since their parents were convinced it was contagious. I missed out on Jr Prom because my ex didnt want to go and I refused to be the pregnant chick without a date. DD tried to come at 28 weeks and luckily they were able to stop labor and she was born 4 days before her due date.
My Senior year was interesting, she was born a week before it started so I was on maternity leave until Dec. Yeah my High School had maternity leave for kids but no day care or child care referrals or anything. My grandmother watched DD for me to work and go to school after my leave was up, I was able to keep up with my classes too since the school gave me free tutoring. I was also taking college classes at night so that was an added difficulty and I was captain of my fencing team that year as well. Luckily I could take DD with me since there was always a mom or two around who thought she was the cutest thing in the world and when we had a meet or I had to go to the strip she was content to just sit in her carrier and naw on a fencing glove
I nursed DD for a few months and the school allowed me to go home to nurse/pump at lunch and miss my study period to be home with her. I graduated on time and walked with my class, DD was 10 months old.
I stayed with my ex for another year and a half before I was sick of his abuse (long story short he was emotionally and verbally abusive as well as the one time he went to physically hurt me he tried to kill me) and left. I had been with him for 4 and a half years. I met my now husband the following January and he is the best thing to ever happen to me or my daughter. He treats DD like she is really his and never introduces her as his step daughter to anyone I have never heard that term ever cross his lips to be honest. They even look alike so most of my friends that I have met since we moved (he is in the military) are shocked when they find out we arent high school sweethearts and actually grew up 700 miles away from eachother
I ended up speaking to the freshman health classes about being a teen mom from my senior year through 2006 when I married my husband and we moved from CT to VA. It was nice to be able to talk to the freshmen about it because I like to think I helped at least one girl to make a better decision then I did. Dont get me wrong I love my daughter and wouldnt change a minute of my past but not everyone has a family that will help her out and in my hometown a family that supports a teen mom is extremely rare and cost of living is so high that there is no way to make it as a single mom with out help.
sorry this was so long, I really didnt think it would be
Thanks Julia for the great siggy! <3
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