27 & Pregnant - what to do..How to.. when to.. tell the Father
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May 25th, 2011, 02:57 PM
Join Date: May 2011
I expressed he has been really awkward & distant.. making me feel horrible and angry... He said he is just horrible at expressing his emotions and talking about his feelings... I expressed that this is a time to try & work really hard to get over that... I said please don't worry about sparing my feelings, I need to know what your feeling how you are thinking... he blurts out stern "I hate kids, I don't ever want kids... it's not even the point I am not ready.. I DONT WANT KIDS, I hate them" I laughed.. I said "I understand that, do you not think I feel the same way.. but I have to deal with this and I can't just jump on the abortion train" He was very kind, said he understood, he would never ask me to do that, he can't even begin to comprehend what I am feeling... He said ultimately it's all you decision. I said "SO IF YOU WERE me in my shoes, You were a women, you were me, what would you do?" HE's all stuttery... "You would have an abortion??" HE says "Yes Yes I would" ... I replied "OK fine I am going to go find something as emotional distressing, something utterly painful.. something that you will need extreme counseling after... AND I am going to make you do it.. then I will do that" (I was being joking sarcastic) He said again "That's why I am not telling you what to do" then he went blubbering on (I am not sure if to take it manipulative or supportive) He said every statement I have made before about kids, society, life... repeated my words...also said (this urked me) "think about what we want to do with our life's, think about the traveling we want to do, the things we want to accomplish" ... I said "Yes I said all those things... I also said I would never want to be in this situation because I wouldn't know what to do..."
uh... hhmm what else I said "Abortion right now, is absolutely not a option in my head" He said "SO you would be keeping it" ME "yes that would be the case" Juan "You saying that is making me terrified" ... YUP PROBABLY.... I then said "I feel horrible about this, because if I keep this baby, Yes I am ruining/changing my life.. I can handle that.. ITS MY LIFE... but I am also ruining someone else life, YOURS. I am not ok making that decision or doing that to someone, I don't want you to resent me" AT THAT POINT MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY I wont RESENT YOU, OR YES IT WILL CHANGE BOTH OUR LIFES, MAYBE NOT SOMETHING WE WANTED... BUT HEY ... nope nothing from him silence.....then I said something about really feeling alone, and that this is all on me.. and if I do this It will just be all me.. is a lot, terrifying... he kinda FINALLY MAN'D UP he said "You want be alone, I never said whatever you choose you would be alone.. I am not going to leave you alone" He just said he hates the situation were in... he has zero resent, hate, disappointed, dislike towards me... just this situation is so hard for him, he has never been in this, and he has no one to talk to just me... and I said "you can talk to me about it, about anything.. seriously No Judgment, I am a nice person.." He looked at me Genuinely SMILED then held my hand and hugged me... HOLY WHAT? EMOTION?
So it went OK -- Sorry the rambling. You all are super great! I am really happy I signed up for this site.. I am really appreciating and & enjoying your input!!!
Last edited by under_search; May 25th, 2011 at
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