Do any of the kids in your home have items that other kids have to ask to use?
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May 30th, 2011, 08:26 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
I ask because as a kid I was the oldest girl and had younger sisters who used to take my stuff without asking. It drove me crazy and they would break things. My mom finally got me a lock for my bedroom door (with a key) so when I was not home I could keep my sisters out.
Now I don't go to that extreme with our kids (ds, ss, and sd). And ds and ss share a room anyways. But I have always felt that when the kids get something as a gift or they buy something with their money it is "theirs" and others should ask before using it. DH disagrees and we argue about it.
The most recent dispute was over ds's playstation 3. For Christmas that is what he wanted. So I said he should tell everyone he was saving up for that and ask for $ or giftcards to the store he would buy it from. So that is what he did and he spent most of his Christmas money on it. The rest we had him put in the bank. And that was his only gift.
SS wanted a PSP (handheld game system) for Christmas and got that. He got a few other things from people too.
Anyways the other day dh was playing his own Playstation 3 that is in our familyroom and ss wanted to play. DH told him to go ask my ds if he could just play his. DS said no because he was mad at ss. (Earlier that day ss was going to the fridge in the garage to get a water bottle and ds asked him to get him one. SS looked right at him and said nope. SS came back with only one and told DS to get one himself. When I asked him about it after SS tried saying he did not hear DS.....so I called him out on his lying and told him I heard him say nope before even going to the garage. I told him it was not very nice of him and if he wanted people to be nice to him he should be nice to them.) I told ds right after that not sharing with ss was not going to make ss be nicer to him next time and maybe he should be the bigger person and make the first step in being the nice one. He said no and I let it go just like I did not make ss walk back to the garage and get ds a water bottle.
Anyways DH got mad that DS would not let SS play his Playstation 3. And instead of telling ss to go play something else DH let him play his and then went into our room to sit and be mad over it.
I walked in and told him I felt that SS was not nice to DS earlier and if DS did not want to allow him to play his game as a result then too bad. But that SS had other options of things to play with (his PSP, going outside to play, toys, etc.) DH said that DS should have been made to share and there should not be any "mine" or "yours" stuff in the house....everything should be able to be used by everyone. I told him that I felt differently based on my childhood. DH was the youngest so he never understood what it was like to have younger siblings take and/or break your things.
So DH started saying he should buy SS his own Playstation 3 if I was not going to make DS share!!! I told him that was INSANE, not only because of hte expense but because someone should not get everything they want all the time just because. I said ss got the PSP for Christmas and I did not have to go run out and buy DS one of them even though he liked it! And DS does share a lot of the time.
So what do you all think???
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