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June 3rd, 2011, 03:18 PM
katiemama katiemama is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 196
If it were me, I would get him into counseling. You cannot parent his daughter effectively if you are not on the same page. And his lack of boundaries with her is actually IMPEDING her development. It's harming her. Although it's important to love a child and spoil the heck out of them - it's also equally important to allow them autonomy and independence. You know she is capable of these things given your experience with her.

If this isn't nipped in the bud, it will be worse on your marriage as she grows older and your resentment of her AND your husband will get worse - as will her knowledge of how to divide and conquer in your relationship with her.

I'd get help.

If he won't go, I would go on my own. Just to make sure your feelings of not being loved aren't soley about you - and the therapist may have some tools to help you better detach from the things you cannot control in your relationship.

Also, if you have boundaries with your son - he will learn them. Sadly though, if your husband has none - he will learn similar divide and conquer techniques that could be hazardous to your marriage going forward. I'm of the opinion that "wait and see" generally doesn't work in these scenarios - but I could be wrong. I've just seen an AWFUL lot in step situations...

Have you read any books on step parenting or blended families?

xoxo

Last edited by katiemama; June 3rd, 2011 at 03:21 PM.
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