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June 20th, 2011, 11:07 AM
LvdL LvdL is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,717
So, not sure everyone knows the story, but long story short, we haven't had a relationship with my inlaws since a day or two before our wedding, 5 years ago. It was an incredibly hurtful situation, and there is still a lot of anger on our part towards them, but DH is trying to rebuild the relationship. I am "supportive", but was presented to me as him wanting to be able to see them at family functions and be civil. Well, we're there, but now he wants us to work things out further and have a more encompassing relationship with them... and for that to happen, we need to have a very open talk about what happened to cause it all, and because I got the brunt of the hurt, even though it had nothing to do with me, it is going to be very, very difficult for me to get through this discussion with them. Besides ruining our wedding, it also caused DH and I a lot of trouble in our first year and a half of marriage.
So, we tried to do this last year with no response from them, and are trying again since we've seen them a few more times in the last few months. We've been trying to set up a time to do it for a few weeks now, but they have always canceled on us... now they want to do it this Friday/Saturday which is way past where I told DH I would be comfortable doing it, given my history of pre-term labor. I know it's important to DH, but I'm not super comfortable with it, and frankly I'm pissed off at them for leaving it this long and for us to never be important enough for them to make the effort until now, when, oh right - grandchild #2 is on the way, and they want to be able to come see the baby.

... so, what would you do? Suck it up, have the conversation, tears, fighting, etc. knowing that it's terrible timing, or tell them (and in a way DH) no, you're just going to have to wait until months post-baby when life is settled down and we can give THEM a couple hours of our time??
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