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July 3rd, 2011, 02:36 PM
MauMama's Avatar
MauMama MauMama is offline
formerly La_Sirena
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 317
What a very confusing situation for you. Firstly, congrats on being pregnant!

I think he sounds like a very immature young man. Placing the suicide responsibility on you is wrong and that is emotional abuse. He doesn't sound like he would be in a place to parent responsibly and you do NOT need or want anyone being abuse around you and your new baby.

It does sound like he is very dependent on his parents and his parent's approval. I think that contributes to him being so immature. Frankly, someone who gave a crap about their partner and their future would be able to man up and protect his partner and baby.

If he is going to commit suicide, and you believe this truly, then you need to tell his parents. As much as they think a pregnancy will destroy their lives, they couldn't even begin to believe how much a suicide of their son would.

A letter or even an email would do. He will probably go beserk, but if he is truly serious and not just being a manipulative jerk, he needs someone to look after his mental health.

If he is just being a manipulative jerk, you are 100% better off without him.

Do you have support from female friends, your family? You're 20 and young, yes, but how many 20 year olds have babies successfully every single day?

I had my first at 24 and a lot of people look down on young mothers, but there is so much bravery and courage in raising your baby as a young mum. You CAN and will do it.

You need to seek some time alone, seek solace and decide a plan. If you're keeping your baby, you need to do it without this man. If he attempts to abuse you more, you will need to seek a protection order against him.

Women are most vulnerable in domestic abuse cases when pregnant and he sounds brash, rash and codependent.

He could always tell his family it isn't his and he could give you sole parenting rights. He can sign them away the day the baby is born if he feels the need to suck up to his parents.

You are so brave and can do this.
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Jen + Matt
Parents to Sophie, the Wondergirl
Asperger's Syndrome
Joint Hypermobility
GERD & Constipation
Anxiety


Angels Autum & Isla (2007)
+ 7 others (2002 - 2011)

Mama with arthritis & connective tissue disorder called TRaPS
I've been charting since Jan 16, 2001 and TTA since April 2007.
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