this is how I feel
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July 8th, 2011, 02:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
This pregnancy has been a rollercoaster. with my feelings that is.
I have a daughter 1,5 years old now and am 13 weeks pregnant. This second pregnancy was not planned and it hit us hard. I can not imagen having an other child. It is not that our relationship is not good or that we did not want 2 children in the future, just not now. I am sooo not ready. Still not ready.
The day I got my BFP was the day I started to feel depressed on and off. There are days that I do not think about this pregnancy and those days I feel great. But I went shopping today and walking through the maternity section made me feel so down! Why? Why do I feel that way? Why can't I just be happy?
It is driving me crazy. Everytime I want to talk about this to my bf he tells me that the baby did not chose to be here. We (he means I) were not carefull. So I have to deal with it. Which is true. Due to breastfeeding I could not use BCP and once I stopped I totally forgot to get them again. I was so busy arranging our wedding. So now I always act happy around him. But inside I feel like crying. Not always but it happens often.
Esp now that my belly is starting to grow and I can't denie it to myself. I hoped seeing the baby and its heartbeat would help me to start enjoying the pregnancy. My MIL is over the moon, as are my parents! I try to prepare my daughter by telling her there is a little baby inside mommies belly. She is the cutest! I just do not want to share my attention. She is so tiny still! Why did I do this to her? We only DTD once!
Towards the world we act happy. I know I am not. And I know my bf is having doubts. We will keep the baby, because I am sure (or so I am told) we will love it the same as our daughter.
I hope I can think about this all happily in a few years. Laughing about why I was feeling this way. But for now......... I just feel down.
Maybe once I feel the baby move I will enjoy it?
Last edited by KatieLove; July 8th, 2011 at
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