About to have a nervous breakdown
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July 22nd, 2011, 05:15 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
I'm so irritated that I really just need to vent. I know that this rant is going to make me sound like a horrible stepmom and honestly I'm alright with that at this point. So the deal is dh has primary custody of his son, the visitation schedule is two weeks here and two weeks at biomom's. Currently my stepson is here and will be for another long week of hell.
So to be honest I really don't like my stepson in fact I can't stand him. The kid will be two in a few weeks and is a living nightmare. I spend the whole two weeks absolutely miserable and counting down the days when I get to send him away and then I spend the two weeks without him dreading his return. I know those are some pretty harsh things to say about kid so young but he has got to be the spawn of Satan. I have never met a child as destructive as he his, violent, aggressive and whiny and the kid doesn't talk at all oh wait he does say mama and shoes other than that he whines for EVERYTHING. He lacks any sense of independence and is constantly up my butt or he's busy throwing things at and hitting my girls. Nap time and bedtime are insane the kid sits in his room and screams at the top of his lungs every time he's put down EVERY TIME!! and he has done this since we started getting visitation when he was about 7 months - he just doesn't get it, bedtime is not a new event in his life he should be over it by now. That's just a portion of how horrible this kid is.
Due to his insane, destructive behavior I can't get a crib for my new baby since the plan was for the two of them to share a room. But I know if I put a crib in there the little brat will destroy it like he did his own bed and dresser. My room is too small to fit a crib so my poor baby is going to have to sleep in a playpen for I don't even know how long - until we can find a bigger place I guess or if hell freezes over and my stepson can stop acting like a wild animal.
I'm really nervous about how he's going to react to the new baby I can totally see him walking up to him and throwing crap at him like he does my girls. Right now I have the girls home to help out and fortunately because their school is being rebuilt school won't start until Sept 6 so I get a whole extra month with them to help me out but after that it's just me and I am freaking out.
I know that all sounds horrible of me to feel the way I do I just can't help it. I don't mistreat him or anything like that so please don't think that but I also don't go out of my way to play with him, if he can manage to behave (which is rare) I give him lots of positive attention but when he acts 'normal' (evil and possessed) I can't even look at him and I ignore him his whining. I just don't know what to do about this kid, I don't know how to not dislike him. I know the twos suck, they really do I wasn't crazy about my own kids at that age and they weren't any where near as bad as he is. I know a big problem is that I am in no way bonded to this child and I honestly don't even know if I really love him so his horrid behavior angers me so much more than it would if he was my bio kid. I guess in reality there's not much I can do just live in misery or take up drinking after the baby's born. Sorry that was so long thanks for listening.
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