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July 27th, 2011, 12:41 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Holly Springs, NC
Well, I am not sure this relationship will work out, and I feel terrible.. I want it to work out, I want us to be able to get through this.. but SO is totally losing it, he is becoming angry, stressed, depressed and just impossible to live with..
When it was just Jack and me I have always been very protective over him and guarded.. his father is not involved in his life at all, and so its just me been here providing whats really important to me, and thats a SAFE and LOVING environment for him to grow in. SO and I met, we had 2 children together and I wont go into details but we had some problems in the past (from his actions) and now we are trying to make it work. I am home all day long with all the kiddos, and I keep peace.. 6 here including a sick newborn, and I chose my battles, I dont yell I talk, I explain, I respect and try to keep things in order without having to yell or scream..
Then SO gets over here from work and all hell breaks lose.. last night he completely loses it at bed time, in the middle of reading a story, closes the book, now 3 children are crying and my own childhood flashes back in my mind (I hate my father for the dick he was). And all I can think is, I have managed to keep cool all day, and you come home and lose it in a matter of a couple of hours and now MY child is subjected to his temper tantrums and its just getting worse.. I know Jack is suffering because he is changing and I HATE to see what this is doing to him..
I have tried talking/explaining how I feel and all SO says is "this is how I parent" well the person I fell in love with just seems not to exist anymore and this nasty angry person is in his place.. Now he is throwing at my I would rather leave him for the sake of "JACK" than stick it out for the sake of our bio two .. but its not that, its that I dont think its healthy for any of the children to be subjected to yelling and anger like that.. No he doesnt physically put his hands on them, but the yelling, huffing, stomping.. I hate it and I worry how it will affect OUR children. (his children were used to this behavior when he and his ex were together) and I never knew how bad he could get until his bio children with ex came to stay with us for the summer.. and instead of enjoying his children, it seems they just get on his nerves and they have now wasted a whole summer here with me stuck in the house for 8 weeks.. I feel terrible that we are not able to get out and do things..
Sorry, more venting to come I am sure.. feel free to kick me off this board!!!!
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