What do you grieve?
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July 30th, 2011, 07:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
I'm greiving the loss of the peaceful home waterbirth I didn't get.
All I did these past 9 months was research natural childbirth and even took a 12 week class. My vision of birth was soooo beautiful, I was so excited.
But suddenly my blood pressure rose and I was diagnosed with severe Pre E, the OB said he hadn't seen a case so bad in years.
I was rushed in and given basically every intervention possible. 25 hours of painful labor and 5 hours of pushing...ended with foreceps.
Rather than bond with my baby I instantly handed him off to someone because felt I was going to be sick. Then my blood pressure which had been 225/150 plummeted down to normal which put me in distress. All I really remember was people running around and asking me questions like, "who is the president?" and "how many states are there?" I remember thinking these are questions you ask someone who is in bad shape, maybe someone who is about to die. I thought I was dying and looked to see my husband playing with our baby and paying no attention to me...
People have commented that they've never seen someone so beat up, swollen and bruised "down there" before. I can't sit or walk.
I'm happy I did get a healthy son...but I'm not happy with the experience.
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