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September 19th, 2011, 03:28 AM
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BlessednHighlyFavored BlessednHighlyFavored is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,184
Of course it's not one that I expected to writing. I was excited to write my birth story when we got this section up but now I wish I can redo the last couple weeks of my pregnancy.Anyways here goes...... I had a drs. apt aug 16 that included u.s along with nst. Everything seemed to be normal. I did notice a look on the tech face that day and asked her why she was looking that way and she just stated that baby was being "difficult". We didnt think nothing of it because he hated us and would always cooperate for a few minutes and then be like leave me the hell alone! I thought it was cute. So we left that apt and everything seemed perfect. O.k now flash foward...... I have another drs apt on Aug 29 which included the nst. All of my nst had seemed normal but it was something different about this one. His heartbeat kept getting light and disappearing but the lady just said he was changing positions. She noticed that he wasnt moving as much as he had in the past and she used this little buzzer thing. She said that doesnt mean that anything is wrong and he is just a little sleepy today. My blood pressure was also extremly high considering what it had been my whole pregnancy. this was the second time that haappened. Dr said she wasnt concerned because I had a "perfect pregnancy considering my health issues. She did think about inducing me that day but didnt because it wasnt any rooms available. So I was a little anxious and upset but new I would be having a baby that week. I left with the joke I will still see you to night because I am going to go home and rape dh until this little boy comes. It didnt work and at the end of the week I was still prgnant with the intent to be induced Sept. 2. So fast forward to Sept. 1. I woke excited!!!!!! 1 more day until I meet my fat man!!!!!!!He was 8 pounds Aug 16 so I knew he would be big. My heart was beating fast that day I thought because I was nervous with anticipation of having a date and time of when baby would arrive! I decided that my heart is beating real fast let me see what my blood pressure is!I wasnt having any other symptoms other than my heart beating fast. It wa 141/99!~ My blood pressure had been running in the 118 and lowers. So I decided I would lay around all day and wait for hubby to get home from work to finish any last minute task. I kept checking and it was going higher instead of down after resting. Then I started to get worried. I decided to put the dr on alert and she sounded very worried and suggest that I come in. I called dh and he rushed home to rush me to the hospital. So we get to the hospital on Set 1. When I get there, they already have everything set up and printed out for me. There were people there for me and I come in and go straight to a bed.They hook me up to the nst and the tech gets this worry look on her face., She seems new so I try and help her by telling were they usually find his heartbeat. Again I make jokes because he loves giving the drs problems. So after 10 min I say o.k. this is not like him and he is usually moving or let us get the heartbeat just to let him no he is ok. So she try for a total of 20 minutes and couldnt find a heartbeat. She leaves the room to find somebod to come help. I begin to give baby a prep talk and tell him how he is sc aring mommy and to stop playing..... She is taking to long and dh leaves the room to go find my mom because he puts a call in to her and drives up with getting lost so I am in the room by myself for about 10 min. She comes in with another nurse. This nurse tries for 10 min. They both are looking scared but keep saying everything is fine don't worry. So now they both leave the room and say they have to get a dr since they are having a hard time. The dr tries and finds nothing with a concerned look on his face. 2 of the 3 leave the room to go find a dr and us machine. The room is quiet and I am in panic mode even though they say everyhing is fine. They come with thhe machine in whatseems like eternity. They do us and looks at me and says nothing but sorry. I begin tyo scream and say no you are lying look again. dr looks again and says sorry your baby is gone. I begin to scream and cry and snatch my clothes off and say you are lying!This is a blessed room! I had a perfect pregnancy! I am having my baby tomorrow and he is just playing! I dont believe you ! I am going to deliver tomorrow! She said do you want me to check again! I scream of course because he not dead! I feel him moving now! I look over at my husband and mom and they they are crying!thats when it hits me that I am having a baby but I am not having a baby !
I begin to cry even harder to the point where I vomit. I begin to seize(i have epilepsy) because I ma so stressed. I then gets up like I didnt have a seizure and says I just had a bad dream wheres my baby?! they say again your baby died. maybe you should go home and think about what you want to do next. i get even more upset and tell them to get my baby now! they insist i go home and calm down. i then tell them no!if you send me home when i come back you will have two dead bodies because i am going to kill myself. my baby is gone and i dont want to go on either! they finally officially admit me. they confirmed that at som point baby turned breech and wanted me to still deliver vaginal!he was folled in half! how in the hell was i suppose to do that?!So after about 12 hours they decided to do a csect.I am very anxious because i still dont believe my baby is dead! So they do the csec and my son is in fact dead! they confirm that he had prob been dead for a while because his skin was peeling! there are more details but i am going to finish alittle later because it took me three hours to write this far and now its getting even harder as I think about the past events. I am going to try and post more later in this blog.......
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