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September 30th, 2011, 04:29 PM
Seattlite Seattlite is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 13,880
Week 38

It's been an eventful week! Where do I start...

Saturday morning, I started to feel off--a little nauseous, and achy, and having chills. DH immediately chalked it up to the flu shot I got on Friday, and put me to bed, where I stayed pretty much all weekend. Monday morning I woke up still achy and with chills, and also with a fever--hadn't had one all weekend. So I called into work sick and went back to bed. From 11-2:30 I napped and when I woke up, I was contracting. At 3, DH went to get us some lunch, and while he was gone, the contractions started to HURT. So when he got back, he helped me get up to go pee, and I told him, "Call the doula." She came over about 4:30, and by then, the contractions didn't hurt, but were happening every 3 minutes and felt strong. So at 5, we called the doctor's office, and they sent me down to L&D.

So, L&D monitored me for a while, then checked my cervix, which was only a 2. (Insert let-down music here.) Of course, the doc said he would be discharging me. Then an hour went by, and then the nurse came in and said, "We think we might have seen some decels in baby's heart rate but we're not sure if we're just picking up yours. So we're sending you for an ultrasound." Down to ultrasound we go, where of course Maggie is doing just fine and passes a biophysical profile with flying colors. Then we go back up to L&D, and since it's been a while, the doc checks my cervix, and yep, it's still a 2. And posterior, and only 30% effaced. So, we head on back home.

Tuesday, I'm still contracting, like, a lot. Still not painful, though. So I call my doc's office and they say, "Come in for an NST" during which I have a pretty regular contraction pattern, according to the nurse. The doc then checks my cervix, and says, "Still a 2. 50% effaced. Still posterior. You're not in labor." Home again.

By this time, I'm feeling kind of let down. I'd gotten used to the idea of baby potentially coming out as I contracted and contracted, and now I see it's going to be a long slog. DH is feeling the same. The doula comes over for a pep talk, and I go to bed and have a nice long cry.

Wednesday dawns and I am still contracting, but not as regularly. I get up to go pee at 4AM, and low and behold, there's my mucous plug! Hooray! I spoke to my college BFF on the phone and she gave me a pep talk too, and then I felt better. I put on street clothes instead of lounge wear for the first time since Friday, and I take DH and Jim out for breakfast before we drop Jim at daycare. Then DH and I went to pick up the new rocker-recliner we ordered (which is AWESOME OMG I LOVE IT) and I go for a pedicure. Then I try all the stuff my doula has suggested for moving labor along, including walking sideways up and down our stairs, doing side lunges, turning upside down and then laying on my side, and lots of walking, and even DTD (whcih DH and I haven't done in a while, I am totally not in the mood most of the time).

Thursday at 3AM, I wake up to pee, and I can't get back to sleep. That's when I had a PTSD attack. See, last time around, my body didn't do what I wanted it to do--it spat out a baby at 27 weeks. So, this time around, it's also not doing what I want it to do: move labor along more quickly. Also by this time, I haven't been to work all week, between the fever and the contractions, so I'm getting texts and e-mails from coworkers all the time wondering about whether baby has come out yet. So I feel all this pressure to do something that I really have no control over. So, at 3:30 in the morning I'm crying hysterically, feeling the feelings I did when I was in the antepartum ward with Jim. God I hate PTSD. I really really hate it. I eventually calm down enough to go back to sleep at about 6AM, and end up spending most of the day either in bed or in the new recliner. Very irregular contractions. I also e-mailed my boss and said, "This is it, I just can't come to work anymore, start my FMLA leave now." Luckily she is totally understanding and says, "Just do what you need to do, I want you to be OK."

So, today is Friday and I'm feeling a little better. I had my regularly-scheduled check-up today, and I'm now 3 CM, still 50% effaced, anterior cervix though still high up, and at -2 station. My belly is also measuring big, like, 40 weeks instead of 38. I told the doc we tend to make big babies in our family, so I'm not really that concerned about it. So, for now, I'm just waiting for my water to break, or for the contractions to become painful. I have a feeling we have a ways to go.

I'm feeling a little better today, tired, but definitely better than yesterday. Now that I'm not constantly contracting, I don't feel so stressed out, and I've also been avoiding some of the phone calls and e-mails from well-meaning people who are really just making things worse by constantly asking "is she here yet" over and over again. Just, doing what I can to cut out the stressors in my life so hopefully I don't have another PTSD moment.

Speaking of tired, I could really use a nap...
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~Beth in Seattle



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