Do you every have regrets?
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November 28th, 2011, 09:30 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
I think I'm done at 1. After reading some of the other posts, it looks like my reasons are completely different from others'. I had a perfectly fine pregnancy, delivery, and recovery. Financially, we have no debt and could easily afford another child. I'm 31, which is not especially young but I do have time to have another.
My reasons for not wanting another are that my DH was far from helpful during my DD's first year, despite the fact that I work full time. Our first 10 years together we never had a fight, and then when she was born we pretty much stopped having sex and felt like strangers for a while. My DD was/is a horrible sleeper and has never STTN at 16 months old. In fact, I'll be shocked if she does before she's 2. I was completely out of my element with a newborn. While I love her dearly, I mourned (and still do) my loss of freedom, and was constantly overwhelmed by the feeling that I needed to be tethered to her 24x7. Even though I work from home and have the nanny here, for the first 6 months I didn't go further than the next room and constantly stepped in because I just felt I needed to comfort her when she cried. I was trying to do two jobs at the same time. I was/am lucky enough to work from home but I can't count on getting to do that in the future. I'm fairly sure I would have had terrible PPD if I would have had to work outside of the home, or be a SAHM. Even though my DD is a lot more fun and I'm more relaxed now, she's still a ton of work and I can't imagine adding any more to our plates. Finally, I like the idea of having plenty of time to devote to her and hate the thought of having to neglect her (even slightly) to take care of a newborn.
I think I'll be totally fine with only one child for the next 10 years or so, but when I think about the future when I'm old enough to be a grandma, and later when I'm in a nursing home, that's when I wonder about regrets. I'd hate to rot alone in a nursing home because my one daughter lives far away and can't visit me very often. Plus, what if she decides not to have any kids? This is really my old concern with being done at one, but it's not enough to persuade me to go through the living **** that was the first year of my daughter's life again.
Mariah, AP Mommy to Juliana
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