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November 28th, 2011, 12:06 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar
♥Ashley♥ ♥Ashley♥ is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
Unfortunately, after over a month of going back and forth, I am stepping down as co-host to the TTCMA board.

With even more of a heavy heart, my DH and I have decided to stop TTC completely. Its been a long, rough, trying 3 years full of miscarriages, medications, procedures, and surgeries. I just cant do it anymore, the past 3 years are a blur of cycle days and forced dtd and we no longer want that for ourselves. Having a baby is still something I want more than anything in this entire world, but I wont let it determine how much of a "woman" I am anymore. I have always felt broken, useless, and not good enough through this whole thing and I dont want to feel that way anymore. And ever since starting to face this decision I have been a lot more happy in that regard. Our relationship always stayed pretty strong through it all, but even since thinking about stopping things are so great between us. No stress, just enjoy eachother and have sex when we WANT to (which has been a ton more often, and a ton better!)

Anyway, I went back and forth so much but it just feels right for us. We think that we are going to possibly talk about it and regroup if nothing has happened by the time were 28/29 which is a couple years away.

Im incredibly sad to step down, but after thinking about it so much and learning to deal with our life without children right now, I am actually happy about this decision. Thank god we have an amazing relationship and can be happy with just us two, for now at least.

I will try and check in on you girls as often as possible! And good luck to you all!
__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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