FINALLY some good news! My sister who also has some angel babies, just told me that today is the anniversary of the date of her angel baby she carried the longest left this earth, and the baby inside of her is STILL alive, and healthy, moving on ultrasound and has a beautiful heartbeat! WOO HOO! I know how it feels to be pg after multiple losses....one is bad enough. I had 8 before I had my little ryan. she's had 3 I believe. oh goodness I hope she gets to hold this one! and that this baby has a happy and healthy 7 months to go, and that he or she is perfect in every way. It was so surreal when they placed ryan on my tummy after giving birth, I just looked at him and started crying like crazy... happy, sad, oh the rush of emotions that just flooded over me! he was the baby I got to hold. and keep for my own. every child is special, but I have to say, babies born after losses really do have a very special place don't they. mommies of these babies know what I mean. oh please let this pregnancy survive for her. I think of her so often and her little one. my heart just breaks for anyone who has suffered a loss. it really is something no one should go though. I hope her last loss was THE last loss, ever! no more. no more. I remember with the last loss I had before ryan, just like my sister's it was the baby I had carried the longest. and I said back then, "I am gonna HOLD the next baby in my arms." I told my sister to say that same thing and believe it in her heart too. And to get a fetal doppler, I rented mine from online, 25 bucks is a small price to pay for peace of mind. I would spend hours and hours rubbing my belly and talking to ryan while listening to him on that doppler, laying on my bed. such a beautiful, beautiful sound. reminds me of these videos....poeticone2812009 is my youtube name, and that's where all my poetry is.
one I made after my last loss:
"Held" - YouTube
and this one is the first recording I have of ryan's heartbeat:
Our baby's heartbeat! - YouTube
and this one is a cool recording with my doppler too, ryan loved to lay on my pulse inside me lol, and this is what I heard one night:
A Preggo Symphony - YouTube
so if you wanna see ryan, here is one vid I put up of him lol:
Our sweetheart in his bouncy chair - YouTube
and the last one, this one he had just woken up from a nap:
Ryan in his crib just after his nap - YouTube
I love my little boy so much.