Trish’s Journey Into Madness.
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January 28th, 2012, 08:51 PM
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Houston, TX
I didn't realize I'd been gone for so long. This community helped me a lot, and I've been a very bad member. I'm going to work on that this time.
A lot has changed for me. My last post was in June of 2010. It was the summer before my last semester in college. Since then, I did my Senior Project, which turned out to be kind of a hellish nightmare. I graduated with my BS in Computer Science, which was the single proudest moment of my life. I went out searching for a job. I looked for a few months and then, at a job fair, I found a company that I knew I had to work for. I applied the next day, forced my way through their extensive testing and interview process, and got the job. I've been there for 9 months now, and I've loved every single moment of it. And, last but not least, my husband and I recently moved to a new apartment across town.
On the baby-making front, things are the same. I wish I was returning triumphantly, but alas, it wasn't in the cards.
We finished up somewhere towards the end of 2010, started out 2011 by actively trying for many months, and got nowhere. I tracked my body temp for a while, did those stupid ovulation test strips for a bit, all to no avail. After a while things sort of tapered off and we stopped being aggressive about our efforts.
Skipping ahead to now!
I'm settled in at work. My husband is happy at his job. We've saved money. We've got a sweet new place. I've lost a modest amount of weight and gotten my high blood pressure under control. We're ready to start doing this again.
I wish I was coming back with enthusiasm and joy and hope, but I'm not. I've got determination and focus.
My husband and I were on vacation a few weeks ago and we went and saw a his best friend from high school, his wife and their new baby. The baby was adorable and the parents were stressed almost to the point of breaking. And yet, even with the tension in the air from all that, the topic stilled turned to my husband and I and when we were going to start trying. I clammed up for a moment, dreading the inevitable point when I'd have to explain (again) that we already started trying. And we failed. And we're still trying, but it'll probably be a while. But my husband, being the gracious soul that he is, said “soon” and steered the conversation in a different direction. A few minutes later he looked at me with the sweetest smile and I told him I was ready to start it up again. Some couples would be overjoyed. We weren't. It stopped being fun.
But we know that, when it does happen, it will be amazing and wonderful.
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