grandparents in denial?
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January 29th, 2012, 05:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
I have been there... Danny's wasn't behavioral though. He has 15 food allergies, lots of GI issues, lots of Hematology issues, and no one knows why he has any of them. When I say issues it means that we know something is severely wrong but we don't know what it is... :/ When Danny was 18 months old he only had 5 food allergies. My x-dh's family thought I was lying about his allergies from the time he was 3 weeks old (when we found out about the milk allergy) just to get attention. They finally exposed him out of spite for me and guess what?!?! He reacted! I was FUMING!!!! At least they got it though. I haven't told them about the GI, Hematology, or other issues because we don't have answers and they won't believe me until we do (and still likely won't at least for a while...)
My former SIL had the same problem. Hers was/is with a behavioral child but she really does use the diagnosis as an excuse for his behavior (his sister is following right in his footsteps).
She has no structure in her house, lets him stay up until whatever hour of the morning he wants to watching movies and if he doesn't go to bed and misses school because of it than it isn't her boy's fault...it is the ADD. She lets him get away with everything because she has to "pick her battles" however, she just picks no battle so he literally does whatever he wants. I tell you that because it will emphasize my point. Her MIL (also my former MIL) was the exact same way yours was but worse. She was trying to split her and her hubby, threatened them if they didn't "straighten out her grandson", etc. It was a very bad situation... She finally just didn't let my MIL or anyone else in the family see him for a full year. They finally caved or it would have been longer. They agreed not to discipline him, let her do whatever, etc. When she is gone he behaves perfectly for the MIL and her hubby and they don't physically discipline him. (Another point that she is the problem and not the ADD.) :/ Anyway, their relationship is 100% better. Even though they still talk about each other's habits that they don't agree with behind each other's backs they are civil and don't talk about his behavior in front of one another... I would hope that since your son is not this way and you will likely have more tests and results that you will be able to convince her that your DD really has a "problem" of some sort rather than being subject to bad parenting. They will either accept it eventually or they will decide to ignore it so that they can see their grandchildren. :/ I hope that helps dear. ((((HUGS))))
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