Paxil and TTC...
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March 24th, 2012, 12:46 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
This is my first post on this board....or any pregnancy / mommy board for that matter.
I have suffered from severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder since my teenage years (I am 31).
I have taken Paxil for 15 years, and it has always helped me cope, to the point I now live abroad from my home country, have a husband, and a demanding job as a project manager. With Paxil, at 20-30mg, I rarely had to take any benxodiazepines, like Xanax.
4 Years ago I tried to wean off, very slowly, 5mg every 4 weeks. But at 5mg/day my anxiety got so severe, to the point I have had to take myself into a mental hospital for a few days because I was afraid I would kill myself. I then went back up to 30mg and got better.
Last Summer my husband and I decided we'd want to try for a baby, so I started to wean off again, very slowly, with the help of my psychiatrist. I was at 5mg Paxil/day with 20mg Nortriptyline for 3 months, but over the last couple of weeks the anxiety got so bad that I missed work and started having suicidal thoughts, and insomnia again because the anxiety is so horrible.
So I decided finally to go back up to 20mg Paxil/day and try to get pregnant while taking Paxil. I figured that the insane amount of anxiety I feel without the medication would be worse for an unborn child that the chances something goes wrong because of the Paxil. Plus; I wouldn't be sure if I could keep working with all the anxiety...
I feel guilty towards my not-even-conceived -yet child!
I know there is a chance of birth defects with Paxil, but I just couldn't take it anymore, the anxiety was harming me, my job, and my marriage!
I don't know what I am asking from this board....some support and understanding I guess. I know it has helped for me to read other women's experiences with mental health medication and pregnancy..,,
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