Kelli's TTC #3 Journal
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May 29th, 2012, 07:24 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeastern, USA
I'm getting more and more nervous. I missed my first tri-genetic screen and I think I purposefully did it subconsciously if that makes any sense to anyone.... I kept putting off calling to set it up until it was too late. I was too scared to see the results and to see if there was any genetic problems. Ugh.
I have an appointment coming up, I think June 2nd? But I will be out of town so I need to reschedule that. Then I have a "fetal diagnosis" appointment with the MFM on June 22nd, which is just precautionary to make sure there are no issues following Finley's defects. I think they will tell us gender at that one??
Honestly, I am getting more and more nervous as time goes on. I thought I was doing good
15 weeks was my first u/s with Fin and looking back at the pics you could tell there was something "off" and that the fluid was low. It was our first indication. I am dreading the anatomy scan and I'm scared I will self-sabotage again when it gets closer. Scared, scared, scared.
To top it off a close family friend is going through a pregnancy tragedy (they tried to place a cerclage and broke her water) and it looks like she will soon be delivering her 24 week old miracle baby. And another friend at church (just found out today) will be delivering her 26 week old baby due placental insufficiency in the coming days.
Isn't pregnancy supposed to happy??? I feel like I am be suffocated... the only way to keep going is to not think about it, but then I am afraid that I will miss out on bonding with him/her like I did with Finley
So... that's my update/therapy session.
eli grey [9.15.10]
jude lawrence [11.9.12]
forever loving our best girl, finley [born still 10.30.11]
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