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May 31st, 2012, 05:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
It's tough. It's super easy to judge but we sometimes aren't fully aware of all the circumstances. I bet on Saturdays. when all the working parents are at the playgroud enthusiastically playing with their kids they must think I'm a lazy, selfish mom for sitting on the bench chatting or reading. But I'm a sahm and am with my kids 24/7, I go to the park to give myself a little break from playing with the little monsters!
I'm sure my ds would play by himself for a good chunk of time at the beach but if there were other grown ups there engaging him he would for sure latch on to that. Then I'd feel guilty that other people are playing with my kids and feel obliged to take over when he would have been fine playing by himself to begin with!
I also have friends who "help" or "supervise" my kids doing things I KNOW they are perfectly capable of. I'm sure they feel like super heros for saving my kids from imminent doom, but I know my kids' abilities and limits. Now, chest deep in the ocean is a whole other story. Were you in with him?
We certainly have friends who parent differently than us and who I find difficult to be around but I'm sure there are things about the way I parent that bother them too. I have 1 friend in particular who I hate being around with my kids because there is zero discipline and it's hard for my kids to behave when her kid doesn't have to. BUT, she's a single, working mom and I can't imagine how hard that has to be. I would probably be a terrible single mom, there are only so many battles I could fight by myself.
Anyhow, I digress, but what t I'm saying is it's easy to judge someone as a bad or lax parents but that isn't always the case. If you don't enjoy being around them than obviously don't be around them. If you're seriously concerned about a safety issue, maybe bring it up "hey, is so and so ok alone in chest deep water in the ocean?" If you enjoy their company but not how they parent maybe try and work around your feelings (or just hang out without kids!).
I'm not saying you're being unfair or judgmental but I do know that when I had a little toddler I had friends with older kids who I thought were doing a terrible job with their three year olds. And then I had a 3 year old and learned that I don't know anything about anything
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