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June 24th, 2012, 04:26 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
I'm cross-posting this from my journal:
My mom e-mailed me about how she can be involved once Sean arrives. She said she always pictured being able to come over and help with the cooking and cleaning but of course now it takes all her energy just to stay awake and talk for a few hours. She wants to be able to come over when Sean is born but doesn't want to get in the way. I'm not sure what to say. It's so hard. Since I'm staying at home with Sean I think I might drive down to my parents' every Friday or every other Friday (my dad always works a 1/2 day on Friday, so it's a perfect day for it) so my mom can get as much time as possible with her grandchild while she's still here. I'm just really not sure how it'd work with her coming over and staying with us. Someone would need to be here to take care of her and she wouldn't be able to get the amount of sleep she needs because Sean won't be sleeping through the night. I wish she'd talk these things through with my dad before mentioning them to me. She does this all the time. She also wants to go shopping for Sean with me, but of course that would mean having someone else come with us, too, because I can't take care of her in her wheelchair (my mom weighs probably 250-300lbs too much for me to do while pregnant). It's a sucky situation all around. I can't even imagine if this was my dad instead of my mom, since my mom and I had a horrible relationship and I'm taking it this hard.
I'm also going through a rough patch thinking about Gabriel. Becoming pregnant again did help the wound heal a lot, but the scar is still tender and hurts when poked. Tomorrow is 2 months exactly until my due date with him. I hope it goes well all things considered, but lately I keep thinking about how I should be in the final countdown to having my baby. I still feel like Gabriel is a boy, but of course we'll never know. I'm over the moon happy about Sean, but I just feel like the timing for everything with Gabriel was better and I hate that I've lost a baby. August was a perfect due date. Now I'm worrying about how Thanksgiving is going to go because it's my second favorite holiday besides Christmas and even though I'd be having Sean and would be most thankful for him, I'd be so sad to miss Thanksgiving. Plus, it's a couple of more months my mom could have had with a grandchild. I'm trying to push all of these thoughts out of my mind, but some days it's easier than others.
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