Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
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June 28th, 2012, 12:46 AM
I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Witch showed last night.. and left all her attitude with me. Poor DH. It was just bad news after bad news for me yesterday, I've about had enough of it to be honest.
I'm not sure what I want to do this cycle. It would be a very inconvenient cycle, as we are leaving for Canada on July 30th. I would have barely enough time to confirm a pregnancy with a beta and wouldn't get back until we were nearly 8 weeks. The likelyhood of a doctor giving me something for nausea for our 48hr car trip would be slim... and then I'd have to lie to my family while we were there. I don't feel comfortable telling them before 8-9weeks.
So.. do I want to abstain. Do I want to just shut up and try and realize that I can do everything in the world to get pregnant, if it's not meant to be it won't happen.... do I bang my head off the wall until I feel better? I don't bloody well know.
What I do know, Is I cried a lot last night. That I had horrible dreams. That I'm short tempered and feeling completely devastated. I'm feeling hopeless, and negative about everything.
I may be scarce.. i feel like I need a step back for a bit. I've never actually had a JM break in the 4 years I've been a member... maybe it's time.....
~TTC #1 together 1 year and counting ~
Battling Estrogen Dominance, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Recurrent Miscarriage one day at a time
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Matthew and Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel and Dee 01/18/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
"Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d
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