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July 10th, 2012, 07:30 PM
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Lyndsey2013 Lyndsey2013 is offline
Mom to 2 + 3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 848
Hi Colette

It sounds like you have some hard months ahead! Something you probably already know is that sperm doesn't make a 'dad'. My cousin slept with a guy at party about 4 years ago and got pregnant. He was not someone she ever dated, and the baby's father didn't want anything to do with the child.

At some point along the way (I believe her baby was a few months old), she met another man. This man accepted both her and her baby as his own, and they dated for awhile before finally getting married. They just had a little girl together a few months ago.

The point of this story is that her first baby accepts her husband as his dad even though he didn't donate the sperm to make him. Whether or not you do paternity testing, it sounds like this new man in your life, Tom, is going to step up and be the dad.

I don't know how you can get away from your ex any sooner other than simply telling him if he doesn't go then you will. It doesn't sound like it will be an easy split at all which it totally unfortunate. Even if he does end up being the biological father, there's no absolute written anywhere that he has to be a part of your future.

Also, I am happy to hear Tom is going to the ultrasound with you. I definitely think your mom has over-stepped her bounds by asking to be present, whatever her true intentions may be. If it were me, I would tell my mom I would be comfortable with her in the room. It's your baby, as much as it may hurt her feelings to hear that you don't want her there, it's not really her position to be there in that capacity.

You have a lot on your shoulders, but it sounds like you are blessed with a wonderful man in your life to help you through it. I hope if you feel comfortable living with him that you are both able to find a house together soon. :goodluck:
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