Unconditional Parenting Discussion Thread (5/1-8/31)
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July 13th, 2012, 02:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Originally Posted by
Oh good! I will write a short overview when I am done. I think a big reason I love it is because I spent years thinking about Bayes nets and graphical causal models in my research, and the central idea of the book that babies/toddlers/kids are constantly generating hypothetical causal models and then testing them through systematic intervention, BLEW MY MIND. It explains EVERYTHING. I don't know if someone else would react the same way but I will try to explain more in my overview!
As for the grades, I think you're right. I don't think Alphie would want to make a big deal over the grades themselves, but use them to have a discussion about how school is going, whether the kid is bored silly and frustrated as heck (as straight A little me was too!), is having trouble and needs help with study skills or organization, is achieving the grades through much effort and focus and is proud of them, etc. If the latter then it doesn't seem quite as necessary to praise them, does it? Maybe just respond to that with something like "
that's great, you ought to be proud. It is great to see your hard work pay off like that. The important thing to me is that you are learning and happy.
That's good! I like the "you ought to be proud" phrase. I think it could apply to a lot of situations. It's similar to saying "I'm proud of you" but keeps the motivation intrinsic.
I remember watching the video summary of this book, and when he took questions at the end I wanted to raise my hand and scream "Me, pick me!" because I had so many questions. It's nice to be able to discuss the book.
Mariah, AP Mommy to Juliana
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