|
I was exhausted already and have been limping along for the sake of the kids for a week or two, especially last week when I felt dizzy and lightheaded with it.
In the early hours of Monday morning I was having waves of pressure/pain around my tummy. They seemed to come with some regularity and I wasn't sure if they were contractions, I put my hand on my tummy to see if it felt hard, but I couldn't decide. If they were, that was the first bout of regular ones I've had. BUT my family has all had a tummy bug recently and when my mum had it she had cramps that came in waves too. Anyway they went on for some time, at around 7am they began to lead to an upset stomach every time I had the pain. I really didn't know whether to go into work or not, but me being me, I went, also my partner wasn't up and my mum said I should go and then just come home if it didn't go off (she hasn't ever really worked and doesn't really understand that it's not as simple as that and that people don't just send you home but will keep you in as long as possible if you've turned up).
I told people that I was feeling ill and sort of shaky and unsure whether things were beginning to gear up or whether I just had the bug. There were some issues with a few parents yesterday, some of which from my class, who were unhappy either with reports or end-of-year levels or class placements for next year that morning. As soon as that happened I just wished I hadn't gone in. There was one case in particular where I felt kind of under attack, the senior staff were dealing with it, and I shouldn't have felt so upset as I did, but I guess my hormones just can't deal with that sort of stress right now. As the day went on I started feeling really weak and out of it. I felt nauseous and didn't eat much for lunch. I also had the odd sporadic cramp and contraction though the regular cramps and upset stomach eventually subsided. My class are on a trip today which involves some walking, at the end of the day a couple of the other teachers decided for me that I shouldn't go on the trip "in case" and re-arranged that, so today, I was supposed to be covering another class. I burst into tears when I got home because of the parent issue and it took Shaun an hour to calm me down. We talked and he said he really wanted me to finish work because I couldn't deal with the stress anymore and I'm just not myself. So I said I would come in today, but make a doctor's appointment for this evening or tomorrow to get a sick note.
I've started to wake up in the early hours feeling restless and with worries circling round my head (mostly work-related) recently, and that happened again this morning, though no pains this morning. I also had a weird feeling down there last night and again this morning, like a vibrating feeling - which mum said shows that the baby's head is burrowing down and getting engaged - I don't know if she's right but my bump has sure dropped again today. When I was getting up this morning my hips felt like they were split apart. As always I felt weak, light-headed, exhausted etc. But still went in. I spoke to the head when I got there and told her I intended to go to the doc tonight or tomorrow and get signed off work if possible as I just don't feel up to it anymore, don't feel "right" in myself and explained some of the symptoms I'm getting, including the fact that I'm having sporadic contractions and cramps. I just thought it would be better to give her a heads-up rather than call in sick in the morning. I got the impression she wasn't best pleased (but that could be just because I was anxious about approaching her) but she said I would need a sick note to finish and to try and make an appt for today and then we could take it from there after speaking to the doctor. But they didn't have any appts for today so I had to make one for tomorrow morning anyway. A couple of the other teachers were then asking me how I felt and I was telling them I felt no better etc, and was actually visibly shaking talking about it, so they said I should go home and that I can have 3 days off without a sick note anyway. Again I got really upset about all this, part because of feeling weak and pathetic and part because I am worried that the head isn't pleased with me for wanting to finish early, but anyway I took their advice and told her about the appt being tomorrow and that the others had told me to go home. She just said to ring her tomorrow with an update.
Things are very busy in school this week with complaining parents, end-of-year assessments, tidying up, special assemblies, Y6 production, etc, so I feel pretty guilty. I mean that was the main reason I kept dragging myself in when in truth I haven't felt well enough to work since last week. I hope my kids are ok. It's so hard to switch off, even though Shaun and most of my colleagues have said I need to put the baby first now. I'm all of a dither and don't know what to do with myself today. Feel a bit weak and pathetic and upset with myself. Just hope the doctor does sign me off otherwise I'll have to go in Friday, no matter how I feel.
NB. Pretty sure baby is fine btw as is still moving regularly, though not so vigorously, which I think is due to its position. But will be telling MW all this tomorrow.
|