I feel so bad, ladies :(
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July 18th, 2012, 11:46 AM
Join Date: May 2012
Once upon a time,I would have agreed with the advice that it's none of your business and to keep it to yourself. Now, having been in that woman's shoes, I would say that if you don't tell her, you are just as guilty as he is. Yes, she may just think you're the crazy baby mama. She will probably hate you for the rest of her life. Why does that matter?
Nobody had the balls to tell me about the affairs. I wish they would have. Knowing that, I told the spouses of all my husband's affair partners. I apologized for having to be the one to say it, said that our spouses had been involved in an affair, gave what proof I had (texts, emails, and in one case, a photo) and suggested they be tested, specifically for high-risk hpv, which I have. As thanks, I was ignored, called names, and threatened (different people had different reactions). I've never regretted telling for a second. Not because it was satisfying to hurt the people who had hurt me (although it was, a little bit), but because I have compassion for he others in my shoes, building and living a fantasy life. At risk every day.
You say you feel bad, and that you view it as the ultimate betrayal. You're right. Go with that feeling, and tell her. Good luck.
wife to Michael,
Zoe (13), Selene (9),
and a bonus surprise, due 30 April 2016
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