Dealing with Opinionated In-Laws
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July 24th, 2012, 08:51 AM
Constantly Getting Kicked
Join Date: Jul 2012
I'm expecting my first child in November, and have recently made the decision due to a pre-existing health condition not to breastfeed. Initially I was all about giving it a try, but now that DD is halfway cooked I started doing some more research into my specific condition and talking to my specialist, and what I started learning about staying off my meds after having the baby terrified me. I've made the decision not to even attempt it and to get back on my medication as soon as DD is born so I don't end up desperately ill with a newborn (DH fully agrees with my decision and is even more scared than I am of what could happen if I stay off my meds).
My family fully supports me, since they know the toll my illness can take if it's not properly managed and the risk I'm already taking staying off my medication for 40 weeks, but DH's family...not so much. I'm already getting lots of "helpful" advice about how I can stay off my medication for the first three to six months and how DH's cousin (a pediatric nurse) knows a lactation consultant who knows all sorts of things about medications and poison control and can talk to me about safe alternatives to my meds while breastfeeding, and how important it is for the baby to get all the antibodies for her health, etc. - never mind that my antibodies are screwed up from my disease. His family is huge and largely female, while mine is small and largely male (i.e. they don't care), and I'm starting to feel like I'm up against La Leche League (which has RIDICULOUS advice on helping women with my illness "stick with breastfeeding" despite the very serious risks to their own health).
Has anyone encountered this sort of pushback from their in-laws when in comes to deciding to bottle feed, and if so, how did you politely handle it? I know they have the best of intentions, but they've also never seen me when I was seriously ill because my disease has been well controlled for the last dozen or so years. My mom vividly remembers driving me to the ER twice for x-rays when we were sure I'd broken my left wrist from the excrutiating pain and swelling, and when I dropped from 135 lbs to 112 lbs in a matter of a month and a half, but I just can't seem to impress on DH's family that I have a
illness. The odds are almost 100% I will start flaring 4-6 weeks after DD is born, and will with almost 100% certainty be dealing with a worse form of the disease than I had before. DH has said he'll back me up with his family, but his responses tend to run on the blunt and angry side when and issue isn't dropped. I don't want to have to go into my medical history at length every time we have a family function, and they already think I don't like them (which is absolutely not true) so I need to tread lightly.
Thanks in advance ladies!
Constantly Getting Kicked
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