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August 3rd, 2012, 01:03 PM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Obviously I have been doing alot of thinking my situation, overthinking honestly. 5 days ago I thought I was positive the best thing for me was to terminate, which is crazy to say when I have gone they 6 miscarriages and 3 cycles of MA. Please dont judge those thoughts as you NEVER know what you would do until your in a situation....
On Wednesday I saw my OBGYN who has been with me thru all of this and she suggested that I give my self more time to really think things thru...to try to find some positive to have another child at this point in my life. And that is what I am doing.
I have talked to my boys about the 'what if' I had a baby and they both LOVE the idea, yet I still worry about how it can impact them. My BF has no children and wants his own more than anything but says I have to do what will keep my sanity.
Here are some of my fears:
Ending up being a single parent again (have been raising my sons on my own for over 7 years)-this is the biggest one
Birth defects-I know and would do testing cvs, amnio, whatever
Hurting my boys-another big one
Regretting the child-would I regret the change it could make in my life? Loss of freedom? Selfish I know.....
As I said I overthink everything.....so along with these thoughts I wonder, Am I trying to put up some sort of defense mechanism so that if something does go wrong with this pregnancy it wont hurt so much if I tell myself that I dont want it, that i dont care, it wont hurt me??
Sorry for the rambling but I just would like to hear what others have gone thru....
Sandy-43 years young
Sons Noah 14 & Drew 16
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013
7 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012, Jan 2015)
No explanation for losses
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