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August 11th, 2012, 12:18 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
I'm trying to find the right way to say this so please take it in the light it is intended. first, I understand what you are saying. My daughter occasionally gets these comments at school because I am a SAHM. Kids are convinced, told by their parents I assume, that you cannot survive on one income. We aren't rolling in it. we drive old cars, pay cash, pick drops at the orchard, garden, can our own food, coupon, yard sale, and whatever else it takes. So it can be frusterating when people jugde you on biased assumptions.
However, one thing we have learned is that we only have so much control over when/how many children we have. I fought for years to get pg with #2, then 3 was a surprise, #4 took several months of fertility treatments, and after a lot of consideration about finances we decided to have one last child. Even though we felt we were suposed to have more, we felt any more children on our income would be irresponsible. That baby was twins. HAHAHA. Since the twins we have made a careful effort to avoid pg until dh got a vasectomy. I am now 5 months pg. SURPRISE.
I guess what I'm trying to say is we really don't know what goes on in other peoples lives. Besides having money never was a good qualification for being a good parent. Some people are terribly irresposible about children and don't take care of the ones they have but keep having more. However, taking care of your children has to do with much more than money.
There are people here who work very hard to take care of their families and still need a little help. We had some bad financial pitfalls last fall that we are trying to recover from. This spring, when I finally broke down and applied for food stamps, it was very difficult for me. I actually cried in dhs and I am NOT a crier. I found out right about that same time that I was pg. I could practically feel the judgement. I didn't even want to tell anyone I was pg because I knew how people would react.
No one here wants to need assistance. But we still have to feed our children. Its a very touchy subject. So I would recomend treading very lightly.
And by the way, welcome. And good luck ttc
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