Melissa's Journey to #1
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August 14th, 2012, 07:22 PM
First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
So I've decided to start a journal
I am 29 and my SO is 32. We've been together for about 4 years. This is my 2nd pregnancy. I exercised my right to choose at 18 and terminated an unplanned pregnancy at 4 1/2 - 5 weeks. Please don't judge me.
I have wanted a baby for as long as we've been together. He has a GREAT family, they are so close and I actually envy his relationship with his family as I never had that. We talked on and off about children and I finally made the decision to stop my BCP in May after our trip to Vegas. He was completely aware that I stopped. My first cycle off he refused to finish inside me and it upset me but at the same time I wanted a cycle or two to "regulate." My second cycle we just kind of DTD whenever and I was kind of disappointed when I got a BFN at the end of that cycle. I bought some OPKs for cycle # 3 and got positive on CD14, 15 & 16. We DTD a lot during my fertile time and he finished just fine hehe ... which leads me to here, I had some IB on August 9 and got my BFP on August 10
SO wasn't too happy, he freaked out, got scared, said we were unprepared, basically broke down because he knew he couldn't act like at 16 year old anymore LOL but he's coming around slowly. We both did not expect it to happen this soon so I think we're both still in shock.
He is the "golden child" of his family and I think he's concerned his family will be upset since we are not married. Oh well ...
As for me ... I am battling anxiety right now. I tend to freak out about every little thing and I always think the worst. My self esteem has always been rocky and I tend to panic way too often. I'm not on any medication ... well I'm on BuSpar for the anxiety but I'm on such a low dose & do not want to increase until my 2nd trimester.
Today makes me 5 weeks pregnant
I'm feeling OK, besides the constant anxiety. I had some nausea today, exhaustion, and super emotional. I need some relaxation tips, and am thinking of seeing a counselor since SO can barely talk about the pregnancy right now ...
Here is my test from this morning:
Thats it for tonight, I'm exhausted and going to bed!
Sweet Child of Mine
Co-Host of the April 2013 Playroom
Last edited by Missa_Mae; August 14th, 2012 at
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