new here, need marriage advice
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August 16th, 2012, 05:05 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: An American in Melbourne, Australia
Hi everyone. I guess this is a pretty heavy topic to start off with, but I could really use some advice from other Moms.
I am 37 and in my second marriage. We have been together 9 years and married for 5. We have 2 little boys together.
Here's the thing...
I feel like our marriage is falling apart, but we haven't had any sort of crisis. It seems to be the little things, and that he constantly makes me feel unimportant. How I feel, how he makes me feel... doesn't seem to matter.
He's not mean. He works hard, he's a good Dad. I just feel unhappy 70 or 80% of the time. He will say or do something that hurts me, and if I tell him, he list every reason why it wasn't his fault. Or why it shouldn't have hurt me. He seems uncapable of saying he is sorry unless I am ready to walk out the door, but even then he doesn't mean it.
I think he has a huge ego, and often it feels that his ego is more important than I am. It's ridiculous, I know. But I don't know what to do. We've talked and talked and talked. He realises it is a problem, but I don't think he can change because it's just who he is.
Do I need to change? If I didn't love him, I could live with him because his indifference wouldn't hurt so much. But I hate feeling unhappy all the time. I hate feeling unimportant.
If I leave then I am destroying my children's family life. They love their Dad. And we do a lot of family things together. Remember, I don't hate my husband. I just feel unloved. And I don't see how I can spend the rest of my life this way.
So confused.... It would be much easier if he were always a jerk. But he's mostly a nice guy.
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