What do you do when they won't follow rules???
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August 17th, 2012, 01:58 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
My mother was always a fan of hard manual labor. And long lectures. I was jealous of my frineds who just got grounded. Oh, you can't watch TV for a month? I had to move bricks. I'd take no TV any day of the week. Got any work you need done around the house? Or in the yard?
It sounds like the real root of the problem hasn't been addressed though. Why is she doing this? It sounds like she wants to fit in (all teenagers do this), and she likes the attention she gets. She needs to know how dangerous this is. Talking to strangers on line, how does she know that's not some creepy old man? Or a serial killer? IP address can be hacked (I saw it on Criminal Minds). She could get a creepy stalker.
She also might be trying to explore her sexuality. She's 15, she's noticing boys, really noticing boys, and she's having sexual desires and feelings. This is all normal and healthy. The way she explores these feelings and express them is what is troublesome. I'd encourage her to write out how she is feeling in a diary/journal. One not on line. One in a notebook. Make it clear to her this won't be read by you or her dad. Because you don't want to read it. Believe me.
Talk openly about sex. Not in a "don't you dare have sex until you're married" way. But in an open, honest disscussion, treat her like an adult regarding sex. Saying, no don't, this is naughty, is just going to make her explore more, and keep it a secret and hide it away. Explain having sexual desires is fine. But that having sex should be about love, not about impressing a guy. Not about getting attention from a guy. But about being in love, and wanting to have sex. Explain the emotions that get involved when you have sex. Talk about masturbation. Answer questions as honestly as you can. For the love of god do not do this infront of the other kids or her father. That's just embarrissing.
If you don't feel like you can talk to her, or maybe you don't think she'll open up to you, see if there is a close female relative who can. An aunt or an older cousin. She might feel more comfortable with someone not in a position of authority whose a bit closer to her age.
As for her friends, a few weeks without them won't kill her. Yes, she will probably resent you for it. She's a teenager. They all resent all adults. It's kind of their deal. When she doesn't wind up brutally murdered, or on the recieving end of a nasty rumor (they suck, espeically when you didn't actually do anything to earn it), she'll thank you. She'll probably be 30 before she does, but she will.
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