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September 1st, 2012, 11:06 AM
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plan4fate plan4fate is offline
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I had the MOST vivid dream last night. Unfortunately like most of my dreams it was all over the place. The neighbors across from where I grew up house was on fire, but the mom was my jr. high BFF's mom not the mom who lives in the house.

But the most vivid part was being somewhere and realizing it was time to test, so I found what ever I could to pee in and take my tests. But I was trying to do it discretely (which since the bathroom had no doors (?) and was the size of a gymnasium was difficult) So I ended up quickly dipping a FRER (or similar brand) and a digital and handing them to a friend to keep an eye on because my family was asking for my attention.

Well a while later the friend sent me a text with a video of the digi which was flashing "congrats, you're pregnant!" along with ads (?) for pregnancy products. I was freaking, so I made my way back to where the friend was, grabbed the tests and tried to run and hide somewhere that I could get pictures of them with out anyone seeing. But the FRER wasn't a FRER, it had a totally clear casing, and the test was all weirdly blurry (imagine trying to see through sleepy eyes in a bright room while under water...) and kept falling apart! I coudln't find anything to take a photo on, except for a sheet of paper with pink lines all over it, which made it look like there were extra lines on the test (talk about line eye. LOL). All the while trying to hide it from friends and family. DH was totally absent from this dream. lol.

I just sort of laid in bed after the dream. I had caved and taken a digi wth my chemical.. and the sting of "not pregnant" has never quite left me. I've honestly considered just throwing out the other one I have because I never want to see the words "not pregnant" ever again. I can take white tests, only one line.. but those two little words REALLY hurt.

4dpo.... minimum of 4 for testing. *sigh*
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Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
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