Topic: Jealousy
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  #5  
September 4th, 2012, 06:49 AM
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Keakie Keakie is offline
Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,586
No and no over here too. My ex hasn't spoken to me (aside from the occasional rude emails I would get in the 6 months following our break up) since the day I left.

When I first started dating dh, I wouldn't say I was *jealous* but I did go through an initial phase of intimidation at the history. I had lived with my ex and we were together for several years, but we were never married and never had any children. We vaguely talked about it in a kind of "Maybe way down the road..." way, but that's about it. I had no reference point for what it must feel like to have shared those things with someone. That feeling passed as time went on, though, and I became more secure in our relationship. Dh was always incredibly patient, loving and supportive while I worked through those things, and that helped a lot. It was also helpful to hear dh talk about the hows and the whys of some of the decisions he made years ago. It gave me a more accurate picture of his experiences, and flushed away a lot of the things my imagination had come up with.

Dh used to be a lot more accommodating to bm's whims too, and that would sometimes frustrate me (especially since I knew the kind of thing that was being said behind his back, and knew that she was taking advantage of the fact that he's a good person), but now that the crazy has escalated and he's able to see it all for what it is/see the consequences of it, we've reigned the bending-over-backward waaaay back in.

As it is, contrary to her belief that all of our decision making is centered around her/how we can best 'abuse', control or manipulate her, we're both looking forward to the day when we no longer have to interact with her at all.
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Last edited by Keakie; September 4th, 2012 at 07:05 AM.
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