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September 7th, 2012, 09:18 AM
virtuous virtuous is offline
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I do not go to dr.s. not even female ones. I do not do yearly checkups. No eye dr.s or dentists. Growing up I always went for checkups & dentist. Always. I have a minor condition that I have been dealing with since I was in middle school & always saw the dr. for that until I reached adulthood. Then I stopped. I feel that most of the drugs are not good for you or help at the time but mess you up later on down the line. Same with vaccines. JMO. I have some minor issues that I just deal with. I have to. It is sometimes painful & frustrating but it is better than the alternatives I mentioned. Again, JMO. For example I dealt with my shingles for a few months by doing nothing but cover them as needed & used some herbal treatments. My husband did not think it was a big deal. He never asked about them or how I felt after he found out. We never talked about them after that time because the subject never came up. I dealt with the pain. It took longer to go away but they did. I never had shingles ever but I guess the stress of everything in my life did me in for shingles. Or maybe God used shingles to discipline me. Maybe he is using all my issues to discipline me. Maybe I am not living correctly or not being submissive enough to Him or my husband. I am extremely submissive & obey so I am not sure how much more I can be. I hear that God will discipline us by sending sickness, death, & even good trials our way at my church when other people have issues. I also deal with chronic pain that I have had since before I married. It is very irritating but I just deal with it. Most days I feel other things but I just stuff those feelings down. Been doing that since I was a child too. I was taught NEVER to speak of your feelings & my husband is not into that unless you can fix it in a few minutes. Lol so, I just keep to myself. My husband never asks about the chronic pain (he does not know about all of it) or my feelings so I say nothing. Men do not want to hear such complaints. They have so much to deal eith. Why add to his pressures? I learned in the past that he does not want to hear it. He is just that way. If I said anything it would be very wrong. Suffering in silence is better be it a health issue, chronic pain, or feelings. It is silly to feel the way I do. I find that I no longer like doing much anymore & I see this as God changing my heart. To give up those things that were fun to being more serious. My feelings are not special, useful, or important. Joy & happiness is overrated in the world. I used to be very positive & motivated in the past before marriage. I now see how wrong I was. I do not see much joy or happiness anywhere. I reflect back to my past when I did & see just how wrong my thinking was. That is just how I deal with things. I do not let anyone know what these issues are except here for the first time since I am curious. Lol My husband is very positive I guess. He is very outgoing unlike me. I used to be very sociable. I do not have much to offer anyone else or anywhere for that matter. Lol

Last edited by virtuous; September 7th, 2012 at 10:13 AM.
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