Hurt and Angry
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September 15th, 2012, 05:19 PM
Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
I'm sorry for the crazy you're dealing with.
For your own sake, I would recommend abandoning the idea of having a decent relationship with bm. I know how frustrating that is when you know how much positive attitudes between all parents and stepparents would benefit the children in the middle, but you can't change crazy. You can't form a relationship by yourself.
I would assume she's going to act badly, be cordial when you need to interact and otherwise keep your expectations low and interactions brief. Assuming otherwise will only leave you getting your hopes up and then being disappointed over and over again. Ask me how I know.
I would also have a huge problem with being forced to stay inside/stay home during drop offs and pick ups. I don't know how long you and bf have been together/how serious things are but if it's a long-term commitment kind of relationship like it sounds like it might be (I gather you live together?) you are part of the family too. My dh prefers that I go with him for those things; I go because I am his partner and am happy to be there for moral support. I also like seeing my dsc and chatting with them on the way home/there. If bm doesn't like it, well, that really isn't my problem.
I think you're giving her too much power by shutting yourself inside for no reason besides she doesn't like you. If her df prefers to keep his distance, that's fine; you don't have to make the same choice.
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