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September 15th, 2012, 07:23 PM
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Doodlebug06 Doodlebug06 is offline
Doodlebug
Join Date: May 2011
Location: US
Posts: 1,397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollydawn
We got C on Wednesday like we normally do and like always I change him out of a diaper and in to big boy undies. We are all supposedly working on potty training. He goes pee pee on his potty with out pulling down his undies so I ask BF is BM is keeping up with potty training.

Long story short BF texts her and she responds by telling him that he is blowing up her phone and he should respect her enough to talk about things like this in person. He sent one message she sent 9 back to back. Then she proceeds to tell BF that at least her DF has the decency to stay inside during handoffs and that the handoffs should only be parents…UM EXCUSE ME!!! I am a parent to your son like it or not.

She said BF was attacking her and that we are pushing C too hard to potty train. Please tell me how I am pushing him, he rips off his pants and diaper to go to the potty all by him self and tells you he has to go.

So I have a feeling crap is about to hit the fan and shes about to go off the deep end again. We pick him up from her dads and step moms and hes always dirty and has a horribly wet diaper. They don’t communicate anything.

I told BF we need to start writing things down and show the same pattern I see regularly. This week he had a bruise on his cheek. I just want to be prepared when things start going downhill. Its been a while since she has gone crazy and I am starting to let her get to me.

Tonight I felt like a prisoner in my own home, angry that she was trapping me in my house not allowing me to see my little guy off. I physically spend more time with him than even BF does when we have him. Just 2 weeks ago she was telling me she would pt me on the list to take him to the dr.

Am I wrong for being so upset? I am hurt because I thought she understood that I was sitting out there and trying to make some sort of civil relationship with her for HER SON. He needs to see that we can all get along because we can. He needs to see we all love him, ALL of us love him.

ugh, I am so worked up over her. She goes from engaged to single and moving back in with her mom like I change clothes. I just dont understand. How does she not get that I do WAY more and go far above and beyond so her child can have a good life.

Sorry I had to get it all out where some one could understand my frustration. I am preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. I know I left a lot out I was a lot angrier about it on Wednesday.
How long have you been with your bf?

IMHO ...if my ex inserted his girlfriend into my child's affairs...I'd have issues. I didn't get in dh's business between his daughters mom until after we were married and even at that I try to let him deal with most of it if he can.

Also how old is the child?

My exhs WIFE has been involved in my kids affairs since day 1 of their marriage. But I'm not likely to add someone to a dr list or emergency contact etc who is completely unrelated to my child. It's all fine that your SO leaves you with the baby and let's you tend to him etc but I've said it before and I'll say it again ( and prob be burned for it) but its his responsibility to care for the kid.


That being said there's nothing bm can legally do about you being present for pick up and drop offs. (unless she had a court order saying so) been there done that. She can say you're not allowed on HER property. But she can't prevent you from being involved in pick ups that are elsewhere.

Just realize that if you KNOW you're setting her off by doing it when it's not absolutely necessary , she's going to go ape crap crazy and ultimately the child will suffer from seeing her go batty.

I can also totally relate to frustration of the kid back tracking from progress he's made when with you. Been there too.

My daughter pottied trained while on thanksgiving break at home with me before she reached 2. But exh's wife kept giving a pull up when it wasn't needed. Luckily dd didn't use it and still went potty.
I addressed it with EXH. Not the SM. i felt it was his responsibility to make the caregivers he chose for the kids to go by the rules we set.


As of today (4 years later) I go through SM majority of time bc she's the "family planner" in their house. And we have built a good enough relationship that I feel good doing that. She IS the main caregiver to my kids when they are there.
Ultimately tho if we had a big disagreement I'd handle it with exh. After all he IS the one I'd be taking to court if we couldn't settle things ourselves.

Long story short she has no control over you being present. If you and SO want you to be there, be there.
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