Hurt and Angry
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September 15th, 2012, 06:42 PM
Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Originally Posted by
How long have you been with your bf?
IMHO ...if my ex inserted his girlfriend into my child's affairs...I'd have issues. I didn't get in dh's business between his daughters mom until after we were married and even at that I try to let him deal with most of it if he can.
It doesn't sound like she's "inserting herself".
It sounds like the child's mother is angry at her mere presence. The child is young and I'm guessing this is the first serious partner his dad has had since the split, and I don't blame the mother for having a tough time adjusting. That said, she's supposedly engaged herself and it's totally unreasonable for her to expect her ex to act like his live-in girlfriend doesn't exist.
I got the impression that the OP mentioned the doctor's office thing as a contrast to how crazily back and forth the bm is. It didn't sound like she was demanding to be put on the contact list.
I'm glad that you have an okay relationship with your ex's wife, but not all of us have that option. I don't think it's fair to imply that unless that relationship is there between sm and bm, an involved sm shouldn't be a real part of the decision making and day to day care.
On an unrelated note: for what it's worth, OP, if he's not even 2 years old yet I wouldn't stress about the potty training. It will happen. I'm not saying that it's all right for her to let him sit dirty, but we were really frustrated when bm would send a barely 2 yo over to our house with only underwear (and no warning that she wasn't sending diapers or pull ups, even for night time), insist that was "almost potty trained" and then get upset with us that we put him in a night diaper or in a diaper at the park/anywhere else we wouldn't be within reasonable distance of a restroom (she drilled the kids for that information
). He was having multiple accidents per day, despite constant reminders and walks to the potty.
He does a lot better nowadays, but he's also 3.5 now. He still wears Pull Ups to bed some nights (my nearly-6 yo dsd wore them at night until she was 4 as well). They're rarely wet in the mornings, but he knows how to pull them down and we get the extra back up of him being in a pull up instead of underwear (I only have one set of sheets in the size of the bed he sleeps in
). It's a learning curve.
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