Hurt and Angry
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September 15th, 2012, 09:04 PM
So what is it you're looking for from this group? If you're looking for understanding there's plenty of it. We're all going through similar situations to what you describe one way or another.
If you're looking for support be prepared to hear it from both sides of the coin as many of us are both BM's and Step parents. Personally, I we have custody of my dsd and my dd's with our youngest being from our marriage. I have gotten myself into a lot of unnecessary trouble with BM because I had this deep seeded need to replace her as far as DH goes, and in some ways that carried over to dsd. So while I never want to replace BM as Chloe's Mom, I very much wanted to show DH (and her) my willingness to provide and care for her and in turn that was threatening to BM.
BM in my case is a douche. She has done a lot of things that make me want to be a douche back, but I have to reel it in. I haven't always done perfectly in this, but I have learned to really assess my intentions.
Keep in mind no matter how much you love your dss, you have only been there a fraction of the time and love that his mother has invested. So even if she is a bag of suck, you still need to understand and know your role in everything and respect their relationship.