Hurt and Angry
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September 16th, 2012, 12:29 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Right. I didn't mean "inserting" as the way it's obviously understood. It doesn't take 2 people to get the child to her car. I always felt (early on) that when the SM did this, it was her way of "checking up on me" or watching to make sure there was no interaction between me and dh.
If she's done all those terrible things mentioned , she's obviously unstable and doing anything to purposely set her off is only going to hurt the baby you love. Seriously. I'm just saying for peace for the kid, try to do whatever you can to keep peace until your SO gets things straightened out in court.
As far as the dr goes, in emergency situations there's a waiver that can be executed saying you can take him to ER or whatever. SO can sign that. If he is seriously injured there's no way the hospital will refuse to help and say "sorry we can't help with this limb that's been cut off because you have no papers to this kid".
They'll stabilize the situation always. And yes they'll need a parent or both or whoever has medical decision making to be present to decide what else to do. (as it should be?)
Let me say this...dd fell off her bike @ dads and broke both bones in her arm. Sm was with her at the ER and held things down till I got there.
Did a great job. I was a little upset that I didn't get the phone call before they headed to the ER. Later I decided sm's mind was on getting dd to the hospital. She called as soon as she got there and exh was there. Since I have medical authority the hospital waited for me to make final decisions but they DID stabilize her arm while waiting.
I said I wouldn't add exh girlfriend to a list bc personally a girlfriend isn't commited in my eyes. His WIFE is. I would see it as HIS responsibility to attend dr visits or anything of that nature. That's just IMHO. If he can't, then I'd do it or I'd have my mom or his mom. If you disappear down the line and they need to recall certain things from from certain appts etc...
Anyway I've been the mom with BPD and had issues parenting etc early on. In my case my dr screwed up my meds. (i voluntarily went off during pregnancy to protect the baby and when they started me back it wasnt the right stuff ir dosage) My fault? Not really.
Just bc shes not perfect now doesn't mean she never will be. And no matter how crappy of a parent she's been, she's been in the pic of his life longer and maybe be there longer than you.
Sorry for my rant here but I get really tired of hearing BPD bashing. It's a medical issue. Just like cancer. And I struggled for 2+ years trying to get mine in order.
I've also seen *some people* do things to purposely set off a BPD mom (or dad) And that's unfair too and unfortunate.
Remember in the end the kids are the one to suffer. Your LO will thrive when everyone in his life thrives. Including the BM. If I were In your shoes if do whatever I *could* to keep peace. Even if it means *gasp* staying in the house when LO gets in the car w his mom....
Jade Ja Kang
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